FINDING ECSTATIC
I recently started working with a new coach. Of course I have my own coach! My new coach asked me when in my life I’ve felt ecstatic, and how I describe that feeling. Hmm. Ecstatic. Not a word I use very often, but it definitely makes it’s point: joyful, excited, energized, fully present, connected to something greater than myself. So when have I felt ecstatic?
The first thing that came to mind was my wedding day. Not the whole day, as these big events inevitably come with their ups and downs. It was one specific part of it, maybe even just a few minutes, but the experience of those moments is still with me years later. My ecstatic experience happened in late August, at an outdoor ceremony facing the Puget Sound. The sun was warm on my skin, heating the poufy layers of ivory ballgown I’d chosen to mark the occasion. Don’t ask me why, the dress surprised even me. I’d been waiting in the side hallway for what seemed forever- nervous, sweaty minutes edging by while everyone I loved assembled outside on the folding chairs. It felt like high stakes hide and seek, and all I wanted to do was shout out my position and run to home base. Finally, it was time to walk myself down the aisle. I was the one who got myself there, so why would I need an escort now?!
I took in the assembly before me, and suddenly I didn’t want to run anymore. Time slowed down, and I paced slowly forward, drinking in the warm faces of friends and family, aglow with their love. I halted at the front and took in my groom. It must have been agonizing for him, standing in front of all of these people while I hid in the hall. The ball gown wasn’t the only strange wedding tradition. He’d been biting the inside of his cheek, really gnawing at it, and now gave me a throw me a lifeline smile. I grabbed his hands to steady us both, and this was my ecstatic moment. I was filled with love and joy and excitement. I was fully present and felt deeply connected to those around me, witnessing my commitment to my partner. I was so grateful that I was there with him and we were doing this thing together. I don’t remember much of the rest of the ceremony. Just reaching for his hands, looking into his eyes and being flooded with an ecstatic feeling.
A beautiful experience, but not something I want to do more than once! So where else do I feel ecstatic? I thought about a recent session I’d had working with one of my own coaching clients. We were in flow, and the time passed so quickly. At the end of it I was blown away by the strength of her new insights. I had goose bumps running up my arms. Did that just really happen? Did I just witness this person totally shift her perspective? I wanted to jump up and down Will Ferrell Elf style and yell, “Look what you did!” The feeling as a coach is that I’ve stumbled into something of real substance, a shift that my client will remember and act on. There’s a feeling of connection, and a sense that we’ve tapped into an energy and wisdom that’s greater than just the two of us. An ecstatic feeling.
So what’s the point? Why did my coach ask me the question? I think it’s because once you’ve experienced this state, you just want more of it. You want to figure out how you got there, and go find it again and again. The answer to the ecstatic question points you to your motivators. What do you find joy in? What lights you up and makes you feel connected to something bigger? What do you want to go after because it makes you feel amazing?
A few days after the ecstatic question, I was talking to a fellow entrepreneur about my coaching business. I told her that in coaching, I feel like I’m doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing. It’s as though all of my past experiences were building me up to this, even if I didn’t know it. Her response to me was, “I can see that for you. When someone is doing what they’re passionate about, it really shows.” I thought about it. I’ve definitely met people who are living their purpose and it’s physically evident in their person. Do you know what I’m talking about? They’re firing on all cylinders and seem to be vibrating at a different frequency than the rest of us. Could I be one of those shiny/high frequency/joyful people?
Well yes, I certainly can. And I have a coach to help me do it.
When’s the last time you felt ecstatic? What did that feel like? What created that feeling? What if you could experience more of that feeling, more often? A coach can help you identify what truly motivates you and help create a plan for tapping into your passion, sense of purpose, and that ecstatic feeling. Reach out for a complimentary exploratory session.
