YOU CAN GO YOUR OWN WAY
I took special care that morning with the foam roller, making sure my legs were loose and ready to go. My playlist had three hours’ worth of great house music cued up to keep me moving. I laced up my shoes just so and stepped outside. I was ready to run a half marathon.
As I stepped onto the path, there were no officials, no starting marks, no race bibs. It was just me and my steady breath and the rosy glow of the rising sun. I started my music, set my timer, and took off. Run your pace, nice and easy, you can do this.
As a kid, I was gangly and very unathletic. I felt intimidated by PE class and found the running units in middle school excruciating. I psyched myself out and felt the immediate sting of side aches and breathlessness as soon as the class got started. I told myself I wasn’t a runner and that I just couldn’t do it. I continued with that messaging until my 20’s, when I decided to try again and began dabbling in running. In my 30’s, I began to actually enjoy running (yes it took almost 10 years!) and became more focused and consistent. Yet I still felt intimidated by running with others and had a total mental block around my ability to go beyond about five miles. Covid changed that. What else was there to do during lockdown but run? I took refuge in the freedom and movement of running and broke past the five-mile barrier. At some point this past summer, I realized that I had worked myself up to 10 mile runs and could easily hit the 13.2 of a half marathon. I was ready to let go of the “I can’t” messages and declare myself a runner.
Run your pace, you can do this. I hit the 6.6 mile mark and turned around. Halfway there, feeling great. At mile 10, I got a call from my best friend, on the path nearby and ready to join me. (When she heard about my lone half marathon, she insisted on running me in the last few miles.) I spotted her running towards me and we both let out whoops, startling a cyclist and a few walkers with our morning enthusiasm. She turned and fell in line with me, handing me a water bottle as we went. We set a strong pace and she distracted me with ridiculous stories as we took down the last few miles. I felt strong and steady and capable. As we hit the last quarter mile I started sprinting and she blasted “The Humpty Dance” on her phone and cheered me on. No idea why that song, but it worked for us at the time. I finished strong and stopped to view my time. I did it! I actually ran a half marathon, and I did it mostly all by myself!
Afterwards, as I stretched and hydrated and ate so much food, I thought about what I’d accomplished and what it meant to me. Inwardly, I waved goodbye to that awkward, winded little girl who said she wasn’t a runner. I thought about the choice to do something hard on my own and without structure. This solo effort reflected in many ways the choices I’ve made to work for myself and follow my own career path over the past few years. I’ve found a strong internal compass and I love the independence and self-reliance of achieving on my own.
I haven’t always benefited from a strong sense of individualism. I think about how many new endeavors I’ve considered, and how frequently those interests came with a compulsion to:
Sign up for the class
Join the group
Buy the supplies/gear/equipment
Follow the system
Ask the expert
Why is that? Why do I need to buy something or join something in order to try something new? Why don’t I just try it, on my own, according to my own knowledge and instincts? I think behind all of the need for structure and gear and advice is fear. We fear trying something new, so we hide behind the need to wait for that class, or find the money for that new equipment. As if the sign up or the purchase is the real hurdle and once we have that done, the new endeavor will be easy.
We know, I know, that isn’t really true. The new thing we try will still be hard. We’ll still probably suck at it at first, even with that slick new gear. Because mastering new things requires hard work, and there aren’t any short cuts to make it easy.
Ok, so hard things require hard work. What’s my point here, besides suggesting that you listen to “The Humpty Dance” later? 😊 The thing that my solo half marathon taught me is to just get out and try it, whatever it is. Don’t wait for some expert or group or equipment to legitimize what you’re doing. If you’re a little afraid of the new thing, acknowledge the fear and ask yourself whether you want it more than you fear it. Trust yourself and just get started, with one right step towards your goal. You might just surprise yourself.
Thinking about trying something new? You DO NOT need a coach to do it! However, like my BFF with the tunes and the water bottle, sometimes it helps to have someone supporting and cheering you on. I love supporting my clients (and cheering for them!) Reach out if you want to explore working together.
