NEW YEAR’S HABITS
As the year draws to a close, it’s a natural period of reflection on what we accomplished this year and what we want from the next one. Such as, this year, stayed sane through it all. Next year, keep up the sane thing and maybe leave the house more often. Many of us practice the ritual of setting a new year’s resolution: a stated intention for something we want to accomplish in the coming year. In my experience, these resolutions aren’t very resolute. They’re wistful longings to be better in some way, a vague expression of something we want for our lives. I’m sure it’s no surprise that I rarely keep New Year’s resolutions. Like most Americans, I hold it in my mind for a few days, rolling it around as though I’m savoring a sip of really outstanding wine. Then I swallow it down and forget about it. A pleasant thought, but not one that leads to any action.
I don’t think about new year’s resolutions anymore. Instead, I think about new habits. What new habits do I want to form? What old habits do I want to break? Deciding to make or break a habit is very different from stating a resolution. The resolution tends to be a vague or overwhelming goal, whereas the habit is a specific plan for how you’re going to achieve that goal. For example, the resolution might be “read more.” Sounds nice, but how are you going to read more? The habit might be “read trade journals for 20 minutes a day, first thing when I sit down at my desk for the day.” The habit gets specific and provides a plan for achieving the broader goal of reading more.
I’ve had my fair share of habits to make and habits to break over the years. Some of them I’ve only been successful with short term and then they petered out- like my habit to call my mom once a week on Sunday’s so that we stayed caught up on each other, or the habit to cook ahead for the week on Sunday’s so that weeknight dinners were easier. That’s a lot of pressure on Sunday’s when I could be lounging, no wonder those didn’t stick! There are other habits that I’ve been able to break longer term, like when my husband convinced me to stop cracking my knuckles, or when I moved to a gluten free diet.
One of the habits that has been most life altering for me is the habit of daily exercise, something that tends to be on people’s minds in January every year. Because who doesn’t like to indulge in some holiday cheer. Every day. For the entire month of December. Form me, the exercise habit became an urgent desire after I had my second baby. My pregnancy had been a very difficult one, including modified bedrest for several months. I was allowed to go to work and sit at a desk, then go home and sit on a couch. There was a lot of sitting. Accompanied by a lot of cupcake eating. When I was ok’d to start really moving again, I was incredibly weak and out of shape. I told my husband that the only gift I wanted was the gift of fitness: it was time to hire a trainer.
I looked through online reviews and made an appointment with a trainer that looked competent but not too scary. As in, push me but don’t completely kick my ass. The assessment appointment was . . . interesting. Like being transported back to middle school and the presidential fitness test. I had never been particularly athletic, but now I was in real trouble. I had 30 pounds to lose and I couldn’t do a single pushup on my toes. My poor flappy arms just gave up halfway through the attempted push up and deposited me gracelessly back onto the mat. Not much better with planks, sit-ups, bicep curls and squats. I was ready for a change. I needed a new habit.
Daily exercise can feel pretty daunting when you work full time and have an infant and toddler at home. I looked at my schedule and determined that the only mostly uninterrupted time I had for workouts was at 5 AM. I also had to be as efficient with time as possible, so I would need to work out at home. I’d go to the trainer one evening a week and apply what I learned to my morning workouts. My husband and I made a plan to both get up at five and alternate our days so that we could share the home cardio and weight equipment. Whoever was on weights for they day had the baby monitor in case our little joy woke up early for her morning bottle.
The plan worked. Or should I say the plan worked me! I’d wake up bleary eyed and sluggish, moving through my paces in a state of unreality. There were mornings where I’d be on a mat in the living room, eking out a few precious reps with the free weights, when the morning milk siren would go off. I’d have to go feed my daughter and then stagger back to it. It felt overwhelmingly hard sometimes. But I’d think about that sad half pushup and recommit to my new habit. Somehow, through the weeks and months I found that I really couldn’t live without the workouts. The morning exercise made me leaner and stronger, but they also gave me the gift of stress relief and a clear head. I no longer wanted to roll over and sleep in because my morning workouts made me better.
There’s a lot of great books out there about habits. One of my favorites is James Clear’s Atomic Habits. James Clear breaks down the behavioral science behind habits and provides key strategies for forming and breaking habits. Looking at his four strategies for building habits, it’s easy to see why my daily exercise habit stuck with me. According to Clear, we need to make habits obvious, attractive, easy and satisfying.
1. Make it Obvious
Give the habit a time and location so that it’s clear when and where it will happen. I selected five am every day and chose to work out at home.
When possible, stack the new habit with a current habit. Right after I do this, then I will do the new habit. I was already waking up at a specific time every morning. I just moved the wakeup time up and stacked the exercise for right after waking up.
Use your environment as a cue to start the activity. I had to walk by my tennis shoes every morning to get to the kitchen. My workout space was right there in my home, so it was hard to ignore.
2. Make it Attractive
Identify the attractive qualities of the habit. For me, it was that destressed feeling I had when I finished a workout and started the rest of my day. I felt calm, cool and collected.
Use the influence of friends or family. We tend to imitate those we are close to, and view their habits as a normal part of life. My husband got up and worked out at the same time as me, consistently. We were in it together, and if he was getting up, it was hard to roll over and stay in bed. He helped make the morning workouts feel like a normal part of the day.
3. Make it Easy
Half the battle is just starting the action, so make it easy to initiate the activity every day. Working out at home meant that I didn’t have to go anywhere. The equipment was just there waiting for me.
Start out small and work your way up. I started out with short workouts that felt doable, and worked my way up. A few pushups on my knees, rather than dropping and doing 20 on my toes!
4. Make it Satisfying
A habit needs to be enjoyable to be lasting. Once we’re able to experience the reward in it, we’re much more likely to maintain consistency. For me, the workouts showed good results over time. I lost weight and felt stronger and more fit. The health benefits made it satisfying enough to want to keep doing it.
So as you ring in the new year, my challenge to you is to think in terms of habits, rather than resolutions. What new habits would improve your happiness and quality of life? What do you want to try in support of your physical, emotional, intellectual or spiritual wellbeing? What habits would you like to break? Building and breaking habits can be a lot easier than you think, and it comes down to more than sheer willpower. It’s about creating the right plan, environment, influencers and rewards. I can’t wait to hear about your New Year’s habits!
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